I believe in walking my talk. The reason I became a coach is because of the massive shifts I’ve grown through; from my very first introduction to NLP 8 years ago. I can’t unknow what I know about how the mind, emotions and body work and apply the principles of NLP with myself. It’s a powerful toolkit which has allowed me to dig myself out of all sorts of spirals and stuckness.
I also know there’s a limit to what you can do with yourself. When I first qualified, I somehow figured that with all these techniques and insights there wasn’t much I couldn’t coach myself out of. And a lot I can. But there’s also a lot where the experience and outside perspective of another human being is beyond value.
In the last few months I’ve been back to my original coach; an extraordinary woman named Elvira based in Hampshire. After a 6 year gap it felt like coming home. Even though so much has changed.
There were a few things coming up for me which despite my best solo efforts, self coaching, reading, affirmations and all, just weren’t shifting. I needed some help, and knew that the only way to really make the change, permanently and easily was at an unconscious level.
One of those things came under the general banner of prevarication…. Leaving things to the last minute, picking easy excuse tasks over important ones, feeling like I might just be lazy, beating myself up and feeling like I never deliver. This was showing up in the office and in my business basics. I know I’m not alone. Its something of a modern epidemic! There’s plenty out then on how to tackle prevarication but often it goes after the behaviour and not the root causes (which are unique for each of us).
I have memories of avoiding homework at school, doing the bare minimum and getting away with it. Almost as a badge of pride! Its not a surprise I’d carried this through into adulthood. And at the same time it was ridiculous that I was struggling to knuckle down on things which are supposedly so important to me.
Elvira settled me into a calm, centred state and we started to explore the very earliest time that I leant that not doing things I should was a good thing. It was of course way back before school, buried in my unconscious early memories. The learning that I could get attention (read ‘love’) better by being bad than by being good. She lead me through thanking that part of me which developed this, and understanding what there was to learn from it now. Then encouraging my unconscious mind to create new beliefs to allow the old belief to detach and disappear. My new beliefs…… ‘I am good’ and ‘I have some talent’. A sense of serenity and calm came over me with the release of letting that old set of beliefs go – knowing that my future would now be directed by my new beliefs.
And boy, has it worked! In the office I have literally been on fire! I now have total permission to be good at what I do, deliver and let my talents shine. In my coaching business….. Well here I am blogging again 🙂
I’ve not needed to use any prevarication ‘tools’ or willpower. Whilst it feels strangely new, it also feels natural, like I’m doing what I was always supposed to do. True to myself, not the things I learned from others when I was too young to recognise they were not for me.
We have so many self help resources out there….. A plethora of free tools and advice. But for the really deep sticky stuff there is no substitute for dedicated attention from a professional, skilled coach, practicing wholly in service of their client.
You could be the best heart surgeon in the world but you still wouldn’t operate on yourself!
What a great experiential reminder of how powerful and effective NLP based coaching can be. To feel the process from the client chair and totally authentically feel the shift.
This is why I coach, and why I use NLP models and processes. Why I believe it is so important to let the client lead the direction, trust the process and hold the space for magic to happen. It really does work!